With hindsight, I can see that by societal standards, I was braggadocios in my small essay which accompanied my aura photo. I’m talking about a Facebook post I made shortly after the photo session. As far as I knew, I was just being the Pollyanna that I genuinely was. I didn’t realize that my actions were perceived no differently than say those of a girl with a pretty face, who decided to post a photo, along with a lengthy paragraph, describing in detail, what it was genetically or otherwise, that made her so pretty.
I lacked awareness.
I suspect this was also the case for Joseph of the Bible who excitedly showed off his coat of many colors to his brothers. I didn’t know that like Joseph, I was, or at least was perceived as, a goody two shoes whom people love to hate. Or maybe I did know, and was just in denial. But I definitely didn’t know that the next four years was going to include both the build up of, as well as the climax to, the most intense humiliation ritual I could’ve never imagined. And I also wasn’t anticipating the tower moments which would follow.
My cult mind was wired to evangelize.
Back then, my cult mind was still wired to evangelize. And then there was also the savior complex within my 5/1 Human Design profile which also played a role. See, in my mind, posting the photo was a “testimony” or proof that my belief in vibrating high was “true.” And I wasn’t exactly wrong. But I was green in the sense of not being ripe or mature. I didn’t understand that there were people who were going to do everything they could to steal my pretty aura.
Blessed With Presence
In the video below, the TikToker with the handle, @lachonne.r.jones, calls it “blessed with presence.” And I didn’t know that if I was going to unwittingly announce the prettiness of my energetic presence, I should do so with awareness and specific intention, and only when I was grounded enough to stand firmly in my claim. In contrast, I think about Muhammad Ali, who knew exactly what he was doing when he pronounced himself pretty. To everything there is a season. Right?
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The Pretty Privilege Paradox
People who are physically pretty will often tell you that other people are constantly projecting onto them. And this can sometimes feel like a punishment instead of a benefit. Writer, Mark Traver, in his article, A Psychologist Explains The ‘Pretty Privilege’ Paradox, expounds. In spite of the stereotypical, “preferential treatment,” Traver says, “a deeper examination by researchers reveals there are also certain unwanted consequences to being highly attractive.“
In addition to being seen as vain, he says the experiences of the pretty, can include “facing contempt, hostility and a lack of empathy due to their advantages.” In the clip below, Sadia Khan also talks about the pretty privilege paradox. Similar to those with an attractive face or body, I think assumptions are also made about people who have pretty energy, or are “blessed with presence.” Once again, this reminds me of my Human Design 5/1 profile. The five line lives in the projection field and is accustomed to others making assumptions about them.
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I realize I’ve talked an awfully lot about astrology, including human design, in the last several entries. It may seem like I have just traded the fundamentalism and extreme religiosity of my past for the new age and occult beliefs of my present. And you wouldn’t be entirely wrong unless you think I am unaware of my actions and without strategy. So, now seems like a good time to pause and define my belief system.