Most people born between 1968-1977 have their natal Chiron in Aries. I say most because Chiron intermittently retrogrades into another sign during what is generally a long stay in only one. At the time of this writing, Chiron is again in Aries. This means that along with most people my age, I am in the window of my Chiron return. And boy, I have been feelin’ it! How big, loud or pronounced a Chiron wound is depends on many factors.These include what and how many planets are aspecting Chiron. So you see, all Chiron wounds aren’t created equal.
This is true even though many people have their Chiron in the same sign as their siblings, cousins or classmates. But the core of the wound is still similar. For example, Meredith, an astrologist from Soul Navigation, teaches that Chiron in Aries signifies an “identity wound” created and sustained through “crises of power.” She says that people with Chiron in Aries, “are trying to actually heal a wound that surrounds the question of who am I?” She says the wound is about “finding my own true path in life (and) what trail I authentically want to blaze.”
She says this is done while “not doing what you tell me to do (and) not just being an obedient follower.” So, you see, my theme song, You Dont Own Me, which was part of an Ayahuasca experience, wasn’t just about boyfriends. Rather, it was about everyone who ever tried to control me. Meredith says that those with this placement have something that is “off” when it comes to their assertion. This could mean being over or under assertive. After much study, I can now pinpoint the ins and outs of my assertion problem starting with my natal Mars.
Fiery Aries is ruled by Mars, which governs assertion, aggression, conflict and warfare. The twelfth house, however, in which my natal Mars resides, is associated with Neptune and Pisces. Some astrologers teach that fiery Mars doesn’t function well in this watery house. Stargazer, a writer for advanced-astrology.com writes, “You cannot access easily planets in the twelfth house, and Mars is no exception.” In excerpts, Stargazer says. “If someone attacks you, it’s Mars that fights back. The issue with Mars in the twelfth house is that it becomes locked up.”
“Mars in twelfth house people have to learn how to stand up for themselves,” Stargazer continues. They also say that a twelfth house Mars person “likes to wonder about spirituality, and they strive to live a spiritual life. They know very deeply that hurting others is wrong. However, sometimes we all hurt others, even if involuntarily. If you have this placement of Mars in your natal chart, you often feel that you have to suppress your desires in order to be good and decent. If you had to choose, often you’ll hurt yourself rather than someone else.” Wow! This is so accurate!
My Chiron sextiles my Mercury and stargazer says, “Sextiles represent opportunities in astrology. Here you have the potential to heal the wound through Mercury. Mercury sextile Chiron suggests a talent for listening to those in pain and easing their suffering with your words.” While this is so on target, at least for me, I think this placement brings another talent, if it should even be called that. Let me explain. Nobody was more surprised than me to discover that I had some type of superpower when it came to talking people off the ledge over the crisis line.
But it wasn’t long before I realized the power worked both ways. If I had wanted to, I could’ve worked in a role where I influenced people to jump off the ledge instead. That was the power, my power, of which I had always been afraid. To the same degree that I could rescue with my words, I could also destroy with them. Those closest to me would agree. Eventually, after I kept throwing my venomous words too far, I learned to hold back and err on the side of caution. For example, nobody has ever been as mean to me as has Tyrone.
And for that matter, I’ve never been as mean to anyone as I have been to him. During the worst arguments, he would encourage me to take my own life. And that was one of the nicer things he said. Yes, I unleashed my tongue in retaliation. But at the brink of no return, I pulled back because I knew that once spoken, words cannot be unspoken. Tyrone’s mouth is the harshest I’ve ever encountered. Yet still, I feel strongly that it is my words which hold the greater power. I have always extra understood Proverbs 18:21a, Death and life are in the power of the tongue.
But being overly cautious set me up to be bullied and targeted. Meredith said it best. Chiron in Aries is about “not ignoring your pain” and “not stifling or stuffing down where we feel oppressed and suppressed.” Things that are repressed have a way of boiling over. And so for a long time, I floundered between over and under-assertiveness but only in certain areas. I can walk head on into a patient related crisis and dish orders like nobody’s business. Though elsewhere, I’ve struggled to find my balance by failing to apply my rule of thumb; To everything there is a season.
Finally, I’ll add one thought about planets in the twelfth house not being easily accessible. For me, this was true only until I learned through regular practice how to access them without difficulty. Once I got the hang of it, it was kind of like not having to use GPS anymore for a complicated route full of twists and turns. The crisis line truly taught me how to access my twelfth house Mercury. And this most recent dark night of the soul amidst my approaching Chiron return, has shown me how to access my twelfth house Mars.