I left off talking about my Chiron in Aries and how my past life was filled with aloneness and independence both of which are consistent with Aries energy. In my past life, as Jessie, my 7th house Chiron wound caused me to move towards the opposite energy which was that of the 1st house. And of course, the 1st house is ruled by Aries. Stargazer says to those with Chiron in the 7th house, “To avoid hurting yourself, you often become hyperindepent. It’s common to try to avoid the vulnerability that close relationships inevitably bring.”
Stargazer continues,”Chiron here asks you to integrate any issues you may have around your boundaries and identity. It also teaches you to balance independence with trusting others.” So you see, the lone wolf wound could be associated with Chiron in either the 1st or 7th house, as well as in Libra or Aries. But either way, the theme of balance, which is my to everything there is a season motif, carried right over to this life. When I was Jessie, my Lot of Fortune in Aries confirmed independence was the right path. And my Chiron wound pushed me towards that path.
But I might have learned independence a little too well because in this life, my North node is in Libra which rules the seventh house. As Jessie, I developed my independence through wounding even though Jupiter was in my first house. In this life, aloneness is so easy that I feel like I was born independent. And I suppose the heavy Aries energy in my natal chart along with my first house sun could prove that to be true.
But balance between independence and trusting others is still what I’m supposed to master. Or, maybe it’s about finding the balance between trusting others and trusting only myself. Regardless, my Chiron wound in this life was placed right along side my South Node to ensure that out of balance independence, which leads to out of season isolation, would result in pain or danger. In turn, this would cause me to reach for the energy of the opposite sign, Libra.
I think distrusting others comes from the feeling or the knowing that it isn’t safe to be seen authentically. I wonder if Adam and Eve becoming aware of their nakedness was them becoming aware that they were being seen in their authenticity. And did their shame in who they were cause them to don the mask of clothes to hide the parts that weren’t safe to be seen? Maybe it did. All I know is that rarely, if ever, either in this life or the last, did it ever feel safe for me to reveal my true self.
Were it not for the MIMIC-OPPS, who were constantly pressing on my Chiron wound, I would have stayed too long in my South Node, the fortress of isolation which Robert Green references in Law 18. And now I have found myself at a pivotal moment, a place of crisis, where it is not only more dangerous, but also less opportunistic to stay hidden. On a side note, the newspaper articles below provide insight about my past life journey as Jessie during which I hid my identity while building my independence.
Back then, when I was Jessie, the newspapers spared nothing as they wrote about my scandals. Even after I died, they still found tantalizing things to say about me. On April 4, 1923, along with Florence Louise Horton, whose death was self-inflicted, The Western Daily Press classified me as “lonely” in their provocative headline, Lonely Women’s Deaths. And as seen in the screenshot below, the Hartford Courant said that I “seemed of a reserved disposition.”
The newspaper who first wrote about me obtained their information from people who knew me only as Mrs. Bowie. See, I died while I was out of the country. So initially, those to whom I was a non-local, spoke of my death from a perspective of misinformation which had previously been provided to them out of necessity by none other than yours truly. It wasn’t safe to tell them that my wealth was my own and not my husband’s. In fact, I wasn’t even married at least, not legally.
They didn’t know I was Diamond Jessie, the gregarious Leo rising personality who would be remembered in Chris Enns’ book, Wicked Women, Notorious, Mischievous And Wayward Ladies From The Old West, as, “The San Francisco Favorite.” Nor did they know I was the notorious madam from the Tenderloin District, who after being forced into retirement decided to travel the world under the alias, Mrs. Bowie. And I never told them that even my real name, Jessie Hayman, started as an alias.
Along with my origin story, I kept my real age and date of birth a secret from them. Also, people weren’t aware that the purpose of my trip to London was, in part, to meet with the publisher’s editor-in-chief to finalize my tell-all. So, yes, of course, I seemed reserved. For obvious reasons, it wasn’t safe for them to get to know me. Yes, they learned things about me after I died. But what most of them never found out, was that my death was not from natural causes. I was in fact, murdered.