Author: Connie From The Cult, Death Connoisseur

When my children were young, I read an article in a magazine at our doctor’s office. I requested permission from the office staff to rip out and take those pages. Yes, I actually asked. Thou shalt not steal -Exodus 20:15, had been hard wired into the impressionable psyche of my childhood self. But thats a…

Now I’m at the part where I have to go back to Matthew 6:33. But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.. So, if I take my theories which I laid out in the previous five entries, and combine them, I can make sense…

Once Love had my soul, Grandmother Aya switched it up on me. She tricked me. I had thought I was selling my soul to a Love that was euphoric and blissful. But that was only some of it. She made me experience the whole part. And together, she and Love, uncovered all my feelings of…

For me, there has always been this point within the Ayahuasca experiences where Grandmother renders me incapable as she holds me down with a force that induces submission in an oddly gratifying way. This time was no different. Even though I was more surrendered than not when she took me, I lost the option to…

One evening, in the early part of this year, while cooking and washing dishes, I was using one semi-dry finger to scroll up on TikTok. I was listening but not looking at the screen. I heard this man describing his interaction with unconditional love in like a part two or three of his story. Oh,…

The repairman arrived at my door that warm mid-May day and my nine month pregnant belly went before me as I led him through the trailer. I pointed out a soft spot under the carpet in the living room floor where he should avoid stepping. And I expressed in no uncertain terms that it was…

Prior to becoming an adult, the only time I ever went to public school was for driver’s Ed. I was fifteen and the most agonizingly self conscious I had ever been. Everyone was looking at me. And it wasn’t just because of my height, clumsy awkwardness, red hair or my outdated look and long skirt….

Through Christianity, I was taught, for most of my childhood, that being born again was as simple as asking Jesus to come into my heart and save me from my sins. However, after experiencing Ayahuasca, I had redefined both death and rebirth. I’d also found myself wondering if the main perk of being born again…

Especially then, after I have adapted to the cold water, I breathe intentionally. See, at that point, my rapid gasps for air have long since been replaced with calm and almost too slow breaths. And then I make myself get out of the water, the same water into which I had to make myself go,…

In a previous entry, I referenced Marijuana as being the gateway fruit of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. I see it just above the metaphorical eggplant, a low hanging and easy to reach fruit. Psilocybin is above that and higher up, is Ayahuasca. Now this is just how the forbidden fruit…